an object is what someone holds objective facts about while a subject is someone one knows intimately through shared experience. to view someone as an object is to limit that person within a set of linguistic boundaries to make this person known universally as an object. it is no longer through subjective experience that a person is known but through a list of words with clear definitions, thus limiting them to the definitions of those words and nothing more. basically the potential to know someone is quenched.
to view someone as a subject is to recognize that the potential to know them is unfathomable. it is to throw away the limitedness of words and engage this person who ends up defying all clear distinctions. you can only know a subject through subjective experience with them.
for example, let’s say that someone asks me to describe my friend travis. this is truly an impossibility. its because whatever word I use to describe him, travis always seems to defy this word and its limited definition although it may be true most of the time. an objective fact: travis is shy. although this may be true when he is around certain people I have seen him do things and say things that would completely and utterly defy the definition of shy. this is because a person can never be known (or made known) by objective facts and words. someone can only be really known by engaging with his or her soul; by being transformed by their life.
I think that most people would probably agree with this. but, what gets me is that if we understand that people can’t be known by objective truth and will end up defying labels we project upon them why do we do both these things to God as if He will fit into our mold or be confined nicely in the definitions of our language despite the eloquence or manner. defining and describing God are important, but if we believe that, afterwards, He must submit to the realm of our description we are no longer treating God as subject but as object. He is not an object to be grasped, but a God to be engaged, a power to be transformed by and a subject to be experienced.
June 8, 2009
June 4, 2009
the greatest cause
there once was two men. both strived to be faithful toward Jesus and New Testament teachings. both gave their lives to great causes, though they were much different from each other. the first read the New Testament and, in response to it, decided to move away from society to an isolated meadow where he dedicated his time to prayer, fasting, purity and holiness. for he believed that the most important thing was to keep his heart clean and untainted by the world. he decided to cut himself off from tv, movies, radio, internet and anything else that could potentially have a worldly influence on him. he lived the rest of his life utterly alone, for he continued to live in solitude out of fear that he might become a sinner if he lived near them. for he never wanted to compromise his holiness and loyalty to Jesus through contact with the evil of the world. it is said that he died with the purest yet emptiest heart.
the second man also read the New Testament. but instead of living a life of solitude, he decided to take Jesus’ command to love your neighbor very serious. he sold his possessions and gave his money to the poor, he spent a considerable amount of time with widows and orphans within his city and he visited those who were in prison. he spent all of his time with others and was such a strong advocate for the social gospel that he soon began to neglect his own heart and his integrity. grace soon lost its empowerment toward sanctification and had become a license for sin. he continued to serve and love others in spite of his idolatry and rebellion toward God. the story has it that he died the most fulfilled man yet with the coldest of hearts.
commentary // I wonder if either of these men would hear the words, “well done, my good and very faithful servant.” both represent two beautiful causes. yet, also, both neglected each other’s cause. in other words, both these men got it and totally missed it at the same time. purity of heart and social action belong together. there is no reason to see them as archenemies for both of them, together, equal the greatest cause of all: Christianity.
the second man also read the New Testament. but instead of living a life of solitude, he decided to take Jesus’ command to love your neighbor very serious. he sold his possessions and gave his money to the poor, he spent a considerable amount of time with widows and orphans within his city and he visited those who were in prison. he spent all of his time with others and was such a strong advocate for the social gospel that he soon began to neglect his own heart and his integrity. grace soon lost its empowerment toward sanctification and had become a license for sin. he continued to serve and love others in spite of his idolatry and rebellion toward God. the story has it that he died the most fulfilled man yet with the coldest of hearts.
commentary // I wonder if either of these men would hear the words, “well done, my good and very faithful servant.” both represent two beautiful causes. yet, also, both neglected each other’s cause. in other words, both these men got it and totally missed it at the same time. purity of heart and social action belong together. there is no reason to see them as archenemies for both of them, together, equal the greatest cause of all: Christianity.
April 28, 2009
Reflections on Love
random, feeble reflections on 1 Corinthians 13:4..
i'm not convinced this is the best word for it, but i believe love has a direction. in fact love has many directions. it may even be that love has all directions. the reason is because for love, and i'm talking about true love (what the bible defines as love), is always directed towards something. i'll say it another way, probably even more confusing, but love can never not have a direction. and in the case of this real, biblical love it is directed toward people.
this brings us to our second and even more obvious reflection that love assumes something else or rather someone else. it would be a false statement to say, "love is the only thing that exists." why would this be false? because in order for love to be love there has to be something or someone love can direct itself towards. this is because love is always directed towards something because love is never only directed towards itself. so since love has to be directed towards something other than itself love can never be the only thing that exists. yaaa :)
all of this is important because love can not be contained in the one. love is not expressed when i'm by myself. i will only know if i have love, if i love, when i am with another person.
take advantage of the opportunities you have to love your neighbor for true love can only be expressed towards another. don't waste these moments for they are precious i am coming to realize.
i'm not convinced this is the best word for it, but i believe love has a direction. in fact love has many directions. it may even be that love has all directions. the reason is because for love, and i'm talking about true love (what the bible defines as love), is always directed towards something. i'll say it another way, probably even more confusing, but love can never not have a direction. and in the case of this real, biblical love it is directed toward people.
this brings us to our second and even more obvious reflection that love assumes something else or rather someone else. it would be a false statement to say, "love is the only thing that exists." why would this be false? because in order for love to be love there has to be something or someone love can direct itself towards. this is because love is always directed towards something because love is never only directed towards itself. so since love has to be directed towards something other than itself love can never be the only thing that exists. yaaa :)
all of this is important because love can not be contained in the one. love is not expressed when i'm by myself. i will only know if i have love, if i love, when i am with another person.
take advantage of the opportunities you have to love your neighbor for true love can only be expressed towards another. don't waste these moments for they are precious i am coming to realize.
April 23, 2009
Jesus Shirt
i'll say she's hispanic because i'm not sure if she's mexican or not. but there is this girl in my class at work. her name i'll leave untyped for now. yesterday while trying to get my class to shut the heck up and do something productive i noticed something that made me think.
this girl, by the way, could be the omen in real life. you know that movie where satan, the devil, is incarnate as some little boy who at first glance seems pretty cute and cuddly but really has evil schemes to destroy and kill the world?.. ya that's her. ok so maybe not really, but she's almost there. yesterday she displayed abnormally worse behavior than normal. during homework hour when it's supposed to be quiet she was parading around, banging on the windows, tapping the markers super loudly on the desk, intentionally being rude, disrespectful, mocking me in front of everyone, laughing loud, and making a huge deal out of everything i said and any correction i tried to bring. now i'm saying all this because of the next part of the story. i finally got her to come to me to talk for a minute on the other side of the room, where most of the kids were not. while trying to understand what was happening inside her brain, i looked down at her shirt. all train of thought vanished. she was wearing one of those super cheesy Jesus crucified shirts.
all i could think was, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! INCONCEIVABLE!"
i was wondering later on what she thought about Jesus. and what she thought about that shirt. and what she thought about His crucifixion. if Jesus meant anything to her because He meant alot to me. i mean i know she is only in seventh grade and i was rebellious too. i cussed so much in junior high because it was cool. and i called myself a Christian. but i couldn't help but think about that verse in Joshua (i think) where it says and another generation grew up without the knowledge of the Lord or what He had done.
i really do hope and pray that this girl and all the kids in my class will grow out of their rebellious(ness) and learn about Jesus and what He has already done.
this girl, by the way, could be the omen in real life. you know that movie where satan, the devil, is incarnate as some little boy who at first glance seems pretty cute and cuddly but really has evil schemes to destroy and kill the world?.. ya that's her. ok so maybe not really, but she's almost there. yesterday she displayed abnormally worse behavior than normal. during homework hour when it's supposed to be quiet she was parading around, banging on the windows, tapping the markers super loudly on the desk, intentionally being rude, disrespectful, mocking me in front of everyone, laughing loud, and making a huge deal out of everything i said and any correction i tried to bring. now i'm saying all this because of the next part of the story. i finally got her to come to me to talk for a minute on the other side of the room, where most of the kids were not. while trying to understand what was happening inside her brain, i looked down at her shirt. all train of thought vanished. she was wearing one of those super cheesy Jesus crucified shirts.
all i could think was, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! INCONCEIVABLE!"
i was wondering later on what she thought about Jesus. and what she thought about that shirt. and what she thought about His crucifixion. if Jesus meant anything to her because He meant alot to me. i mean i know she is only in seventh grade and i was rebellious too. i cussed so much in junior high because it was cool. and i called myself a Christian. but i couldn't help but think about that verse in Joshua (i think) where it says and another generation grew up without the knowledge of the Lord or what He had done.
i really do hope and pray that this girl and all the kids in my class will grow out of their rebellious(ness) and learn about Jesus and what He has already done.
March 27, 2009
Innocently Me
a friend asked me what was wrong. and i told her that "i am trying to remember how to be me." as if i forgot and i'm now retracking my steps to obtain, once again, pure and zenith innocence.
how do i "be" me?..
how does someone become the person they "are" ..minus pop culture, the taintedness of business and worry and minus the pride and evil of a fallen human society?
is it even possible?
dunno..
i was watching pan's labryinth (good flick) and when it was finished decided to watch some behind the scenes footage so i clicked on commentary from the director. i can't remember excatly what he said, but he was describing a part of an early scene and said that a child has a pure and perfect personality; basically zenith innocence. a child is untouched by worries and doubts and fears, unaffected by media and propaganda and unmoved by what's "cool" and "popular" and "acceptable." a child is 100% themselves.. and they don't even know it, hence, pure innocence.
i wish i could say that for the 22 years i've spent on this earth that i have been untouched and uneffected and unmoved by these things, but that would be a lie. i have allowed these to mold me and shape me and honestly i just want to figure out what is "me" and what's not; what is god-given and what isn't.
adam and eve were both innocently themselves. this is the place i want to be. this is what i long for. what i see myself doing, the "real" self, i don't do and i end up doing the things i hate and never wanted to do. i feel more like adam when, after sinning, he hids from god, probably not even sure why he's hiding; but he is. he's doing what he never thought he would do.
in this time in my life i feel like i am god and adam, in this story. i am hiding and at the same time calling out asking where i am. this always happens to me. i go missing, but then eventually i end up letting my figs leaves go which may consist of a combination of pride, fustration, "coolness", ungodly imitaion, anger, restlessness, discontent, worry and lonliness. that's a bunch of leaves; a bunch of leaves that i cover myself with as i hide. i, like adam (although our situations are extremely different), reminisce and remember what life was like being perfectly innocent and unmoved by worldly ditractions and temptations to be and act like someone we aren't. adam was tempted to be like god.. i'm not sure what my temptation is yet..
all i know is i'm tired of hiding and i'm tired of not being truly me..
god grant me the grace to be perfectly and innocently who you made me to be
LO
VE
nickraypack
how do i "be" me?..
how does someone become the person they "are" ..minus pop culture, the taintedness of business and worry and minus the pride and evil of a fallen human society?
is it even possible?
dunno..
i was watching pan's labryinth (good flick) and when it was finished decided to watch some behind the scenes footage so i clicked on commentary from the director. i can't remember excatly what he said, but he was describing a part of an early scene and said that a child has a pure and perfect personality; basically zenith innocence. a child is untouched by worries and doubts and fears, unaffected by media and propaganda and unmoved by what's "cool" and "popular" and "acceptable." a child is 100% themselves.. and they don't even know it, hence, pure innocence.
i wish i could say that for the 22 years i've spent on this earth that i have been untouched and uneffected and unmoved by these things, but that would be a lie. i have allowed these to mold me and shape me and honestly i just want to figure out what is "me" and what's not; what is god-given and what isn't.
adam and eve were both innocently themselves. this is the place i want to be. this is what i long for. what i see myself doing, the "real" self, i don't do and i end up doing the things i hate and never wanted to do. i feel more like adam when, after sinning, he hids from god, probably not even sure why he's hiding; but he is. he's doing what he never thought he would do.
in this time in my life i feel like i am god and adam, in this story. i am hiding and at the same time calling out asking where i am. this always happens to me. i go missing, but then eventually i end up letting my figs leaves go which may consist of a combination of pride, fustration, "coolness", ungodly imitaion, anger, restlessness, discontent, worry and lonliness. that's a bunch of leaves; a bunch of leaves that i cover myself with as i hide. i, like adam (although our situations are extremely different), reminisce and remember what life was like being perfectly innocent and unmoved by worldly ditractions and temptations to be and act like someone we aren't. adam was tempted to be like god.. i'm not sure what my temptation is yet..
all i know is i'm tired of hiding and i'm tired of not being truly me..
god grant me the grace to be perfectly and innocently who you made me to be
LO
VE
nickraypack
March 16, 2009
The Places We Live
love this site.
theplaceswelive.com
read their stories.
put yourself in their shoes.
be grateful for what you gots.
LO
VE
nickraypack
theplaceswelive.com
read their stories.
put yourself in their shoes.
be grateful for what you gots.
LO
VE
nickraypack
March 14, 2009
polanyi and orthodoxy
i’ll explain this quote afterwards:
“consider, polanyi might say, the experience of pounding a nail or playing jazz on the clarinet. when on pounds a nail, she is not conscious of the hammer at all; the hammer becomes an unconscious extension of her hand, a tool which she indwells and takes into herself. with each blow she is not aware of the pressure of the hammer handle against her palm, but rather she is aware of the bang of the hammerhead on the nail head. she focuses through the hammer to the nail.
when one plays the clarinet, one is not thinking about the pressure of the lower teeth against the lower lip, nor of the tightness of the lower lip against the reed, nor of the touch of the upper teeth to the mouthpiece, nor of the pressure of the fingers on the holes and keys, nor of the contraction of the hand and finger muscles, nor of hte weight of the instrument borne by the right thumb and right elbow and right shoulder, nor of the tapping of the left foot to deep time, nor of the air pressure produced by the diaphragm on the lungs and in turn on the windpipe and in turn on the inner mouth and reed. rather, through the unconscious absorption of the instrument into the body, through indwelling the instrument through one’s fingers and breath, on e attends through it to the notes, to the tone filling the air and room outside one’s body, to the feeling of the musical phrase, to the passionate exuberance of the melody, to the free play of improvisation, to the rhythm and movement of the band, to the almost intangible but real response of the audience as it sways and smiles and maybe even dances. one facuses through the instrument to the music, and through the music to the audience. if one were to think consciously of all the intricate movements of muscles, tendons, bones…one would go nuts and be completely unable to play.”
this quote is found in the book A Generous Orthodoxy by brian mclaren in chapter 0. he uses these images as a metaphor for orthodoxy. he continues after this previous quote and writes, “in this vein, orthodoxy in this book is seen as a kind of internalized belief, tacit and personal, that becomes part of you to such a degree that once assimilated, you hardly need to think of it. we enter it, indwell it, live and love through it. we concentrate on hitting the nail on the head, on the music touching, delighting, moving the audience. orthodoxy in this book is similarly caught up in the practice (orthopraxy) for love for God and all God’s creations.”
i have some feelings about this.. does anyone else?
LO
VE
nickraypack
“consider, polanyi might say, the experience of pounding a nail or playing jazz on the clarinet. when on pounds a nail, she is not conscious of the hammer at all; the hammer becomes an unconscious extension of her hand, a tool which she indwells and takes into herself. with each blow she is not aware of the pressure of the hammer handle against her palm, but rather she is aware of the bang of the hammerhead on the nail head. she focuses through the hammer to the nail.
when one plays the clarinet, one is not thinking about the pressure of the lower teeth against the lower lip, nor of the tightness of the lower lip against the reed, nor of the touch of the upper teeth to the mouthpiece, nor of the pressure of the fingers on the holes and keys, nor of the contraction of the hand and finger muscles, nor of hte weight of the instrument borne by the right thumb and right elbow and right shoulder, nor of the tapping of the left foot to deep time, nor of the air pressure produced by the diaphragm on the lungs and in turn on the windpipe and in turn on the inner mouth and reed. rather, through the unconscious absorption of the instrument into the body, through indwelling the instrument through one’s fingers and breath, on e attends through it to the notes, to the tone filling the air and room outside one’s body, to the feeling of the musical phrase, to the passionate exuberance of the melody, to the free play of improvisation, to the rhythm and movement of the band, to the almost intangible but real response of the audience as it sways and smiles and maybe even dances. one facuses through the instrument to the music, and through the music to the audience. if one were to think consciously of all the intricate movements of muscles, tendons, bones…one would go nuts and be completely unable to play.”
this quote is found in the book A Generous Orthodoxy by brian mclaren in chapter 0. he uses these images as a metaphor for orthodoxy. he continues after this previous quote and writes, “in this vein, orthodoxy in this book is seen as a kind of internalized belief, tacit and personal, that becomes part of you to such a degree that once assimilated, you hardly need to think of it. we enter it, indwell it, live and love through it. we concentrate on hitting the nail on the head, on the music touching, delighting, moving the audience. orthodoxy in this book is similarly caught up in the practice (orthopraxy) for love for God and all God’s creations.”
i have some feelings about this.. does anyone else?
LO
VE
nickraypack
March 12, 2009
Moments :: Master Shepherd
you know those moments? those moments that are just too perfect for words and when you try to describe them it never does it justice so you just keep it to yourself? i had one of those yesterday. i just strolled in from work. the car ride home was quiet, well for me at least. i was tired and weary in my soul. i slid my backpack off my right arm, gently caught it with my hand and laid it down then walked into my room as it remained silent and still in the dark.
the sun was still setting because of daylight-savings and it was in prime position to be watched from my bedroom as it set slightly left of the other side of our apartment complex. the sparkling rays shooting into my window illuminated a golden strip of sunlight onto my closet door and down the hallway; the only light. that had never happened before. well i had never been home to see it.
and where was i? i stood right in the middle of that golden strip allowing the gentle light warm my chest and face as i squint my eyes. i placed my right arm on the wall slightly above my head and leaned there, silent and still. i just stood... took in the moment, eyes opened staring at the sun, trying to empty my mind of pointless thoughts. and it was then, right in my gut i felt peace. my heart was calmed. my mind refreshed. i was satisfied. and i remembered that Jesus is my Shepherd.. Psalm 23...
LO
VE
nickraypack
the sun was still setting because of daylight-savings and it was in prime position to be watched from my bedroom as it set slightly left of the other side of our apartment complex. the sparkling rays shooting into my window illuminated a golden strip of sunlight onto my closet door and down the hallway; the only light. that had never happened before. well i had never been home to see it.
and where was i? i stood right in the middle of that golden strip allowing the gentle light warm my chest and face as i squint my eyes. i placed my right arm on the wall slightly above my head and leaned there, silent and still. i just stood... took in the moment, eyes opened staring at the sun, trying to empty my mind of pointless thoughts. and it was then, right in my gut i felt peace. my heart was calmed. my mind refreshed. i was satisfied. and i remembered that Jesus is my Shepherd.. Psalm 23...
LO
VE
nickraypack
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